How do you treat yourself when you’re feeling down or gloomy?
I got a phone call the other day from a close friend of mine. I knew something was going on because – as usual when she’s not feeling mentally well – she disappeared for a month, no matter that I called her.
My tactic these cases is to give her time and wait until she calls back, or if it’s a very long time, then I call her, but I make sure that there’s a big gap between the two calls.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m always there for my friends and help them with whatever I can, but not everything works for everyone.
And this is the approach you should use for yourself when you’re feeling down!
I knew she doesn’t like to complain when she’s not well, and she rather keeps away from everyone, so I didn’t get offended. We talked, and she did tell me what she was going through, and I’ll tell you: it was winter depression.
Never heard of this expression?
Winter depression comes with the coldest months, when everything is so dark and windy, rainy, snowy. The hardest out of these months is January, so don’t think you’re alone if it grabs you and gives you a hard time too.
We’ve all been there, you’re not alone!
January is the month when Christmas is over, and a new year starts. Even if your previous year was great, you can easily feel like the days are dragging slowly, it’s never ending cold and wet, and you just can not pull yourself together.
I feel you. I’ve been there many times, furthermore, every year in January, I feel down myself too.
You might had a year that your business idea didn’t take off. Maybe you lost your job, had a break-up or a divorce, going through a mourning period or simply you feel like you’ve accomplished nothing.
You feel sad, lonely, useless, and that everything is piling up on top of you and you will never catch a break again from all this. You started overspending your money for nonsense you don’t even really need, and that just made everything worse.
Once more I have to say: you are not alone!
You are not useless, worthless, you are not a failure! You are going through a hard time, but it is going to be over!
What can you do for the next time to stop the whole cycle of overspending-eating-losing-yourself?
First come first, you should spend some time getting to know yourself better.
What works for you and what doesn’t.
You can do it easily by filling out some personality tests or reading some articles on the topic.
Books are the best choice if you feeling like finding it out yourself, but you can also always go to a specialist or to group therapy!
When you notice you’re off the right track, or feeling that something is wrong and you’re vulnerable, try to give yourself some time to stop.
Even if it’s in the middle of the shop that you popped into to buy the next unnecessary piece of clothing that looks great there, but you never really going to wear it, or don’t need it at all.
Let the hanger go, pull your hand back. Stop!
The first step is done, now take a deep breath, and get out of there. If you still feel like you’re drowning, take some more deep breathes, as many as you need to think clearer.
You’re doing great, you realised something was wrong and didn’t give in to the temptation! Furthermore, you chose fight AND flight (fight the temptation and run) and gave yourself some time and space to see clearer with the extra oxygen.
Now, it’s time to do the hard work.
Think about the time when things turned wrong. What happened? What indicated you falling off the track?
Try to notice patterns – people more often than not, work in patterns. They will react to situations that they feel defenseless against in similar ways.
You and I are not any different. But we can learn to be!
You are taking significant steps against overcompensating yourself the wrong way, which is hard.
You have worked in one way over the years, and now you’re trying to tell yourself you won’t buy the twenty-sixth bag you don’t even need. You can expect some debate from your brain!
But don’t give in. Be resilient and treat your soul the right way, with what it needs!
You can try many things:
- Go out with your girlfriend and have a talk.
- Take a hot bubble bath.
- Read some books, just for the fun!
- Watch your favourite TV-show (FRIENDS!!!)
- Watch your favourite movie.
- Listen to music! A lot!
- Exercise – anything you like, even if it’s not a hard workout. Just dance!
- Try yoga.
- Practice a hobby that you like, but rarely have the time for or sometimes you lack motivation.
- Try out something new as a hobby! Something you were thinking of trying for a long time!
- Try a different look with some not-your-go-to makeup colours. Even if it doesn’t turn out very magical, you will have fun!
- Do something new that you never had the courage for.
- Visit a place you’ve always wanted to see.
- Light up some scented candles!
- Try a new hair colour/haircut! (Let a professional do it, though!)
- Try an Escape room with your friends!
- Play some board games!
- Go swimming!
- Cross something off of your bucket list!
Well done! You got there. You didn’t just drag yourself out of the pit, but you managed to pull yourself together much earlier than usual, and you did it in style!
Now, the next step is to make this a habit. I promise I’ll tell you about that in another post, I won’t leave you unguarded.
And if you liked what you’ve read, it would mean a million to me if you shared it with your friends. ❤
You wouldn’t think how many of us actually need some guidance every now and then!